Art: Unadulterated

Lately, i've been really busy with school, trying to meet deadlines and assignments the past few weeks and I kept making excuses not to blog. The whole Celcom mobile Facebook advertorial thing also has kept me busy with stuff to post on this site I kept ignoring the impulse to just write and express myself here.

So here it is, some kind of activity on my end to just let you guys know that I'm alive and well (I'm technically slightly down with a flu but it's nothing I can't handle). So what have I been up to lately? Well work aside, I've been reading quite a bit of One Piece (largely due to Ling Yi's influence) and fooling around with the handwriting tool quite a bit on MSN messenger.

Yeah so here they are, art in it's most unadulterated form and with it some updates on this blogger's life.

1) Cheebyekiaa!

Cheebyekiaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I drew this when quite a number of things hit me at the same time - I was stressed out working on a project, I recieved some rather unsettling news and I was just frustrated with life in general. I just felt like standing on some tall cliff overlooking the rough ocean waves, with the strong sea wind beating down my face and just yelling out my frustrations to the unrelenting tide.

And as much as I hate to admit it, that has been happening quite a lot in my life in NTU. It sucks to feel out of control of my life and I need to do what I can to reassert my myself in what I do. I want to achieve what I have set out for myself and go where I want to go, but it can get so frustrating.

Maybe this is where the abundance mindset that Steve Pavilina talked about on his blog comes in. Perhaps he's right and instead of spending the bulk of my time and energy focusing on the things in life that frustrate me, maybe I should spend that focus on the good things in my life instead, like the great friends I have, the great people I meet both offline and online and my love for writing.

Just being back on Blogger and writing this out really reminds me of how much I used to love blogging. I used to wake up in the mornings with like three thousand blog ideas and update like 3 times a day. I still love to write and take time to reflect on life but my studies and commitments are just taking so much out of me.

I really need to find that balance, that golden mean between work and time to spend on self actualization. Ultimately it all boils down to time management and discipline, the two things I really need to work on if I want to commit to my goal of becoming a better, more efficient person.

2) Hungry!

Hungry!

I drew this when talking to my good friend Ling Yi while working on my research methods project all alone (hate working on long, wordy reports all alone) at around 12am last Sunday, asking him to come back so that we can go out and have supper. Yes I was that hungry. I have been sleeping at really odd times due to tight deadlines and all and if I remember correctly, only taken my first meal of the day at 5pm. Little wonder that I was feeling like an Ethiopian at 12 midnight.

It is interesting to note that due to the lack of exercise and possibly my latest bout of flu (which comes with a whole lot of water consumption) that my midsection is currently very, very vastly different from the thin, skin and bones figure above.

3) Lovebeam

Lovebeam

Note that this piece is titled "Lovebeam", not "Lovebeams" and is in the singular and not plural form. I drew it when I was chatting to my pal Nick about what most guys at this age has on their minds - girls.

I think I drew this as I was thinking about fictional characters that just seem to be able to snag that one girl that they're eying when they just put their mind to it and focus on just chasing the girl of their dreams. I mean we're forced fed this stuff, and over time we just start to subconsciously believe in it, that if we find that one special girl and love her with all you've got, she'll be yours in the end.

But it always seems to me that the real world is so different from that. Making the girl the only one you think about just seems to decrease your chances - you can't talk right in front of her, you get nervous just by looking at her and you can't even muster the courage to ask her out properly. The logical thing to do would be to not dwell on it and meet more people but it never is easy to reconcile the opposing views of the heart and the brain.

Why do we desire what we cannot get so much?

I guess that's what made me draw what I drew next.

4) Heartstab

Heartstab

That's just how bad news feels sometimes, especially if it pertains to matters of the heart. It really feels like just that - a dark cold sword just stabbing through your being, emptying your being and making you feel all empty inside.

Maybe that's why I seem to connect with this song from David Tao's latest album, Opus 69, so much.

Secret Love - 暗戀

Even if you're an international singing sensation but if the girl you're in love in just doesn't feel the same about you, it still hurts deep inside. What's the use of being to get any girl you want, with the sole exception of the one you're dying for?

5) Flower for You

Flower for You

Yeah an in stark contrast to all that emo writing that this blog has not seen for a very long time, simple flowers for a friend. Come to think of it, we all feel lonely and insecure from time to time, even though if we are continually surrounded by people. A bright flower definitely would serve as a cute gesture of appreciation. Who can say no to such a cute, bright smiley face?

I drew this for Adele who drew me one when motivating me to complete my assignment! I guess that sometimes encouragement and friendship comes from the most mystical of sources. (:

***

Hope that all you out there are fine and well! Hope that you all have wonderful, fulfilled lives. That's exactly what I'm working towards!

Help me with my questionnaire, please?

Hey guys! As you all know, I'm a super slacker and I have an AB213 research paper to present to my Prof on Monday but we need research data. Our research paper is on blogs, so trust me that answering this short (seriously, cross my heart) questionnaire will help me tremendously!

CLICK HERE FOR QUESTIONNAIRE

Been so busy for the past few days and I still feel really tired. Been working around the clock just me meet deadlines and it just has been crazy. Thank God that I have the blog awards to look forward to.

Going to get ready for the awards now! Hope that it'll be great and hope to meet more of you bloggers there!

Fatigue

It gets tiring to blog sometimes, but I really want those invites to the upcoming blog awards. Guess you have to work for the things that you want in life, don't you?

But just for this moment I want to just escape from it all and just be still, and rest. Away from this chaotic mess we call life. Somewhere far, somewhere distant, somewhere quiet.

Somewhere they won't find us.

O-Level Maths.

It's been a tough and tiring week, and just don't know why, but life always seems to throw all everything at me in one big shot: work, assignments, and the latest addition to my life - a tution assignment.

Yes, Kevin Chan is finally going to push himself out of his comfort zone and go teach that one subject that he really doesn't like that much. Yes, you guessed it right if you were with me during my JC days, it's that dreaded subject that Ms Wong used to teach us - MATH.

I don't think it's gonna end up like this though...

But oh well, I guess I've said time and time again in the past that being pushed out of your comfort zone and forcing yourself to do the things that are difficult, that are scary, that other people fear, is the only way to really grow and be that better person. So that's why I'm doing it despite my hectic schedule.

Now I've really got to learn to optimize my time for all the many things that I'm going to be doing this semester, or I'll never make it past this semester. But come to think of it, I learn things best this way.

Now time to work on that laser-like focus and ruthless efficiency that I need to get through this semester! And yes, I still need a room. Room in NTU, anyone?

Wish me luck on my teaching my first O-Level Elementary Math kid!

The Update

Hey guys, it's been some time since I've posted. I've been really busy with school, trying to find a CCA so I can earn points for hall next year and reading a really thick book on the life of Warren Buffet, "The Snowball".

I've really tried to iron the creases in my life out but I still face the same issues I did a month ago - homelessness, financial dependence on my parents and not as much willpower as I would like to have. I really hope to make progress in those three major areas and make it all better.

Well, one thing that I can be proud of is my new website, at http://kevinc.net! I have always wanted to have a dedicated blog to personal improvement and I have finally started one! I have been writing tons of really interesting articles concerning the three aspects of love, health and wealth with relation to personal development and am really excited about posting them and maintaining that blog!

So, give http://kevinc.net a visit and make sure you bookmark it or at least add it on your RSS feed! I am really trying to come up with original articles that will hopefully motivate you guys out there as well as share the knowledge of personal development that I have picked up over the years! Also, I am using it as a personal journal of sorts to chart my personal development over time.

As for this blog, as I am back in Singapore and do not have my direct support group I had the privelege of leaning on back in Malaysia, it has been difficult to come up with the next earth-shattering stunt.

But as it is always, life is unpredictable. So continue to watch this space. Who knows what will come up next?

P.S. If you know of any freshmen in NTU who are moving out of Hall, let me know ASAP! I still really need to find a permanent place to stay there! It would be heaven to finally have a desk, chair and wardrobe all to myself again!

This is where I will be sleeping tonight... NTU Hall 14

Where I currently stay.

Finally, I have a quasi-permanent place to stay.

Learning of my plight, my really nice senior, De Zien, offered me a place to stay in his single room in Hall 14. What's truly remarkable is that he welcomed me with open arms into his room without any hesitation, even though I was never really close to him to begin with.

Really, wouldn't this world of ours be so much better off if we had more such people? People who just would just go the extra mile for you, not because that they are chasing some reward, but because it just is the right thing to do?

It also made me realize that I want to just like that too - I want to help people out there because it just is the right thing to do.

"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light."

Albert Schweitzer

Go out there and rekindle someone's waning flame today. They'll be eternally grateful for it.

***

BREAKING NEWS:

I'm going to do my next crazy stunt and I need a backup team! Anyone, if you're in Singapore and willing to help, let me know! I need cameramen and creative minds! Hope to hear from some of ya!

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

Just forget the mind-numbing fear and see the adventure. Focus. You will survive no matter what.

The flipside of true hardship and fear is exciting fear. I just have to keep my eyes on that.

It's all in your hands anyway, even right from the very beginning.

This is where I will be sleeping tonight... NTU Hall 2

NTU Hall 2 this time!

I still have no permanent place to go but thankfully a dear friend had an extra room whom he still has the keys to. He has to return the keys tomorrow afternoon but I guess a bed to sleep on is always a bonus, ya? It's a miracle that I have not really had to sleep on the floor save for that night in the NUS reading room, seriously!

Today as I was leaving NUS for NTU, Nayan, my dear ex-roommate chided me for always being so last minute and not knowing where exactly I was going to sleep tonight. He said that if I just took like time out to plan in advance, I wouldn't be caught up wondering where I would rest for the night till the very last moment.

And I guess he has a point.

I really need to learn how to plan, how to have multiple plans of action instead of just going headfirst into something and hoping that it all works out.

But then again I think that I am secretly addicted to the adrenaline rush of being so crazily spontaneous.

I really hope that I get a room in the third round of balloting. The results are rumoured to come out tomorrow. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying hard.

This is where I will be sleeping tonight... NUS.

This is where I will be sleeping tonight, a quiet room in an unspecified hall in NUS.

Finally, a really comfy mattress!

Thank God for good friends, seriously!

I was walking along the Bras Basah complex after dinner and I saw a homeless old man just sleeping on the cold concrete with his few possessions just right next to him. As dire as my situation may seem to me, I really am just so lucky to always manage to find some way to keep a roof over my head, be it in a kind friend's room or in some university reading room.

But I really need to do more to get myself of this rut by finding some way to make enough money for me to afford to get a place of my own.

And so I decided to drop by the Singapore Nuffnang office to just see how they're doing down there and chat with Ming about working there.

And Ming told me to check out their rooftop. So we did.

That's Adelyn, a junior of mine in SA who is also in debate, on the rooftop.

If you think that the tables and grassy rooftop isn't cool enough, wait till you see the next picture.

It's a pretty cool pool!

Yup, they have a freaking pool just above their workplace!

Now I'm definitely going to work there if they take me in!

Homelessness: The Adventure Begins

It's going to be a good night as I finally found someone who can spare me a nice bed and room all to myself with an internet connection to boot! I am in a hostel room in NUS and am staying there for a couple of days before my friend has to move in. Finally, some way to get my internet fix which I am so sorely lacking!

This is what you have to do when you don't have a place to stay.

The past few days have just flown by like an awesome blur as Chuan, Bryan and I toured Singapore like mad tourists doing all sorts of crazy fun stuff, which I am at this moment, frankly too tired to blog about now.

But they left for Malaysia this afternoon, leaving me alone by myself in Singapore, still without a fixed place to stay. Where will I move my stuff and bunk in next? Only God knows.

Who knows, as hard as it may be to be a nomad and move around all the time, it hasn't been all bad. Moving around and bunking around a friends places has given me the opportunity to meet and reconnect with friends that I have not had the privilege to see in ages, as well as the chance to meet new people.

Being forced to sleep on empty tables in a dark reading room may also have been extremely uncomfortable, but it has made me a harder, stronger and more resilient person. We only grow when we push ourselves into the realm of the uncomfortable, don't we?

Chuan, Bryan, thanks so much for coming down, helping out and always believing in me. You guys are the best. I wouldn't trade my brothers who will stand by me through thick and thin for the world.

Being caught stranded, without a place to stay down here has really helped me see who my real friends who will go all out to help me, pray for me, and care for me are. And it has made me realise that I have so many blessings in my life that I really have no right to complain.

Here, I guess my real nomadic experience begins. Wish me luck!