Monday, May 25, 2009

I'm a Standout in life!

In life, I make it a point to stand out in the things that I do, and I really mean it.


That's why I'm not going to write yet another crappy post about how I think I am awesome just because I can score good grades in school; because I can chow down a Wendy's burger and talk at the same time; or just because I dare to jump into the sea from a boat - that's just mundane routine for Kevin Chan here.

So I decided that to win this little Standout competition here, that I would have to do something really AWESOME for a change, something that would at the very least stand out strongly in my memory, and I am proud to tell you folks that I, collaborating with Roger (from the Republic of Awesome), Chia Wei (from chiawei.net) as our photographer and Tysern (from tysern.blogspot.com) as our bag-boy have managed to bring you the only ever...

SPARTAN INVASION OF ONE UTAMA (in recorded history)!

It all started with dinner with Roger in Singapore. We were both talking about Nuffnang's Standout competition, and it went on a little something like this:

Roger: Hey, we should join the competition lah, then we'll get to go to the party and all.

Kev: Yeah, but what are we to write about? We write about awesome stuff so much it all just doesn't feel awesome anymore.

Roger: Hmmm... maybe we should just go do something really awesome. Remember that time that I terrorized the hostel in a Spartan outfit, going this is SPARTA in poor Zac's face?

Kev: Yeah dude, you're on to something here, only that we have to do something a few levels more awesome than that... What if we... go around terrorizing random people in ONE UTAMA, in SPARTAN OUTFITS!

Roger: YEAH! Great, I'll get the red capes and I'll meet you at 3pm and we'll go off to One Utama together. How's that? Set?

Kev: Set lah!

And that was how we ended up in front of One Utama on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, all geared up to raid and terrorize our beloved shopping mall.

So how do you prepare to raid a shopping mall in Spartan gear? It all starts with the right gear.

Our Spartan shopping cart!

In the cart we have two really nice red towels capes, two nice wushu Spartan spears, some belts, a dustbin lid kickass golden shield and of course, a Spartan's favourite drink to relax after a hard day's work of killing and plundering - CHILLED TIGER BEER!

With all our gear assembled, we pushed our cart straight into the valley of the shadow of death, our own private Battle of Thermopylae, the gates of One Utama, getting one too many awkward stares on the way there. But those preliminary stares were nothing compared to what we were about to face on the inside of that wretched building.

We quickly found a toilet and went in as mere mortal men, but we emerged as IMMORTAL SPARTAN MEN, ready to rock ONE UTAMA!

One Utama, here we come!

And then it came from all around - the giggles and stares from the people around us. It took some getting used to, but a little giggle or a weird stare from an old wrinkled auntie never stopped Leonidas, and I guess it could not hurt us either.

Old auntie gives us the weird stare!

We go around with our gear and Tiger beer and attack all targets in sight!

There goes the Colonel!

We've got McDonalds in SPARTA now!

We were just posing with more beer when we realized that we were standing right in front of the great Spartan temple... the VIDEO SHOP!

The video shop, chock full with Spartan goodness!

And so, we raided the shop for what was rightfully ours!



We reclaimed what was ours, and we decided that we had to move on, and that there was more of One Utama for us to conquer.

Our heroes move on to their next battle!

The next logical step in our conquest of the shopping mall would be to attack the information counter. There definitely must be some intelligence we can obtain there!

We approached the information counter stealthily, but there was something there so awful, so terrible that it managed to hurt our hardened Spartan eyes - it was the evil QUEUE!

THIS IS MADNESS! THIS IS A MALAYSIAN QUEUE!

After what seemed like forever...


And that was when I just couldn't take the blasphemy that was happening right in front of me anymore.


I was so pumped up after kicking that blaspheming information-counter-guy into the deep, dark, bottomless-pit-of-death that I just went on a RAMPAGE!

It's ass kicking time!

Roger wants to stab the beer for some reason!

Take my animal rage, woman!


We even brought our madness all the way inside Toys-R-Us and the cinemas!

Toys-R-Us!


The Cinemas!


In short, no one could resist the Spartan invasion, and some people even stood on our side with us.

Okay, maybe just one...

But after we got our crowns from Burger King, things just started getting better and better!

Every king needs a fitting crown, and Burger King gave us theirs!

What's more awesome than Spartans invading One Utama?

Spartans chatting up chicks, of course!

Yup, we could do it wearing a red cape and holding a really long spear. Can you?

Energized by the power of our crowns, we went on running wild through One Utama!


We ended up having so much fun, that the some really obnoxious, old security woman that couldn't speak English tried to shoo us away, telling us that we need permission to take photos in One Utama! What utter rubbish!

She was real angry that we kept ignoring her complaints in Malay (I admit, that I am a bit rusty here) but we were never one to pass a good photo op by, and so here is a goofy picture with an absolutely furious, bitchy old security hag.

Just look at that super DULAN look on her face! Priceless!

The mall security elsewhere were more friendly and even offered to pose with us!

The friendlier mall cops.

It was a long day, even for us Spartans, and we finally decided to call it a day at the bowling alley in One Utama's new wing.(But not without some more cam-whoring, of course!)

Some bowlers even wanted pictures with us!

A great shot with our excellent photographer, Chia Wei!

Considering that we started right all the way back in the center court of the old wing, made a whole big and walked all the way to the bowling alley of the new wing, I can safely say that we Spartans did indeed manage to conquer most of One Utama!

And finally, after a hard Spartan day's work of terrorizing, plundering, rampaging, pillaging, and conquering, it was time for a nice cold Tiger.

Just what a spartan needs after a hard day's work.

And my little Spartan invasion here is just why I stand out so much more than the 99.999% of bloggers out there. Period.


To you guys at Nuffnang, Robb, Timothy, Ming, I really want to go to this party, so I have my tickets, pretty please? At least enough tickets so that all four of my friends who helped me out in this AWESOME AWESOME blog post can all be there and make your event an even better one.

And also, I promise to try not to get drunk this time. Serious!

Hope to see you at the party!


***

Just for you guys, the posts of the other guys who were part of the Spartan Invasion!
Roger
Chiawei

74 comments:

Robb said...

this is freaking good la!! u're guarantee invited. lol

Firdauz takes five said...

u guys are nuts!!!

hahahahah

very funny!

love it!

AQMA ANIS said...

U guys are definitely the most good looking Spartans I have ever known! Muahs! Wei Nuffnang, invite them la, they're AWESOME!!!

Boss Stewie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Boss Stewie said...

HAHAHAHAHAH THIS IS DAMN FUNNY!!! TICKETS FOR YOU INDEED!!

IF IT WERE UP TO ME I WOULD EVEN PICK YOU TO WIN THE LAPTOP TOO!!! (but unfortunately it's not up to me... good luck with that one).

yapthomas said...

My fellow Trafford peep!
This calls for WAR!!

ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*okay... you is standout lah!*

Andrew Loh said...

WALAUWEH KEVIN YOU WIN LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

pinkpau said...

ya allah kevin chan

Kimberlycun said...

awesome. you win at life omg

shootandmiss said...

Aiya Kevin, you already stand out what. Like that you block everyone else's aura. HAHA

Kevin Chan said...

Hey guys! Thanks so much for your very kind comments! Hope to see all you Nuffnang bloggers at the coming Standout party! It will be AWESOME (as all Nuffnang parties are)!

And to YapThomas and Kimberlycun - you guys rock so much for being sporting! Really I meant no offense. Just so happened that your blogs stood out when I googled 'standout blogs' or something like that. (:

the queen of catastrophes said...

thumbs waaay up!! kudos..

Anonymous said...

GREAT WORK! This is funny but were u guys drunk?:P

roger said...

Drunk? Hell no!

HAAHHA Kevin I told you the Tiger beer drinking pic would make ppl think we did this whole thing drunk!

Chu Jie said...

LOL, ming made sure that i come to see this, she say itz a 'must-read'! and it sure is! good work dude!!! that is sooo damn awesome!!

tysern said...

hahaha, this is the shiznit man, I wonder what's coming up next, who dares to invade OU like how u guys did!

fourfeetnine said...

hahahahah how come i don't see the pic of the angry malay woman?! or am i blind....

Huai Bin said...

Jesus Fucking Christ, you guys are INSANE! That is a compliment coming from me. Allow me to shake your hand during the party. I also need to hook up with you guys, always useful to have like minded (read: insane) people to pull off stunts like this. :)

Kevin Chan said...

The angry Malay woman is the woman with the cap, which Roger and I were smiling dorkily in front of.

And Huai Bin, it would be nice to meet you at the party, but it would also be nice if we didn't hook up at the party.

to assemble the parts of a mechanism, especially by connecting wires; to connect to a power supply or a signal source; With "with", to form an association (with) someone; With "with", to have a casual sexual experience with another person, usually without any future relationship intendeden.wiktionary.org/wiki/Hook-up

It's nothing personal, but I'm quite straight. You can always look for Robb, though. (:

Nimalan D said...

Mahai Kevin. I go for one year abd you become so insane. But good to see you're still horny la ( chat up chiqs)

Anonymous said...

ugly faggot

Anonymous said...

aiyo! O.O so malu!

Mellissa said...

HAHAHA this is so awesome. Looking forward to meeting you guys at the party!

suanie said...

wow if i were the sole judge, you guys win

Robb said...

err, i actually agree with huai bin that daredevils should stick together to pull off bigger stunts. me for example is a smaller daredevil, but still daring enough. main reason i don't do anything bigger is i can't find ppl willing to be my cameraman if i go extreme. lol

of cuz, i think huai bin made a wrong choice of words (hook up) that made you think sideways. lol

Ern Sheong said...

no words to express my shock

Chia Wei said...

Lol. Thats why I was their photographer. :)

I do shit too with them when I'm not taking photos.

Ahhhh. the days of mcnair. Lol.

Wilson Ng said...

One word... RESPECT!!

That's COOL man!

Melissa said...

OMG HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT IS SO FUNNYY!!! DAMN! I WANT TO TAKE PICS WITH SPARTAN PPL TOO!! LOLOL!

Amy said...

Dudes...I applaud your courage!!...absolutely hilarious!!!...hahahah...wish I was there to take pics with u guys..hahahah....ROLF...

Nuffnag!!..time to write their names on the invites!!..hahahaha

Mark L said...

Man you guys have guts.

You should definitely win the competition hands down!

Chien Loong said...

OMFG hahaha you guys are awesomness man....salute x 10000000000000000000

Soon Chia said...

i might not know you guys or anything but i'll give you props for you. i bet everyone will. this is some awesome shit.

CoKeLaT-RaWkZ said...

wahahaaaha.. siyal siyalll.. this is the most hillarious entry of the day. I almost broke the chair that I sit on. Nuffnang, invite them please... they worth the crazy stuff they did.

cindy said...

respect!

LawrenCe said...

LOL, although i do not know you guys... But i swear i saw you guys there on that day. I thought which crazy idiot is on the loose. However, good luck getting the invites. Great courage you have there.

ms.bulat said...

awhs! im at 1u almost everyday and i miss this?! whathefishandchips! Great one :D

Jawker said...

That was awesome!

xes said...

This is probably the best blog entry I read today!!

JohnnyWzM said...

I think you drink too much..

~JohnnyWzM~

hongkiat said...

Man, you guys got balls!

tw said...

the standout among the standouts man. hope u won't be too awesome to meet such low-profile dude like me. hahahaa. will see u guys at the party. :)

Kevin Chan said...

WOW, all because of Mr. Kennysia, my comment box here sure is flooded! Thanks guys for your encouragement and I would LOVE to see all of you who are going to the Standout party on Saturday!

See you there!

zz said...

you spin my head right round right round..

takeshi said...

i wont leave a comment if not of kennysia.

Allison said...

hahaa..this is so funny, sporting and crazy! good job! and it's cool u have ur 3 other frenz to go crazy with you! ;)

matthew said...

Of course you're a standout.

Idiots always standout like a sore thumb.

kaioucat said...

LOL!!! Queueing Spartans!!!! LOL!!!!!!

wayeyoung said...

LOL! This is nothing short of LEGENDARY!

flizzardo said...

at first when i saw the first picture i thought you guys were lame, but as i read more u guys are fking awesome

great job invading one utama!

ahlost said...

You guys are crazy !!

If only I'm there, I'm definitely going to shake hands with you guys :D

Great entry btw ;)

calvaryzone said...

holy crap, its just amazing how you didnt get your ass kicked out of 1U with your spears and gear.

great one guys.

ButTeRcUp said...

LMAO! siao ppl! hah! but standout! daring! good!

kenwooi.com said...

THIS IS MADNESS!!!
ROFLMAO!! =D
ALL THE BEST!!

Sue Me said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..

Is that Roger Chang? omg..can I laugh at him please? Lol...

weihuA * said...

nice one bro.

Jo C. said...

haha hte cutest one is u pushing the baby car

yeah u must thank kennysia.com!

AppleMag said...

OMGGGGG
*salutes*

Anonymous said...

One word: STUPIDS.

Emeryn said...

that was nuts! Geez... u went to 1U with that outfit...

but u guys totally standout than the rest with the Spartan-ness in u. Totally craziness...

AngryYoungChild said...

Roflmaos..If you guys don't win. I dont know what the hell are they thinking! lolsss

Kevin Chan said...

UPDATE

We won the most eccentric blogger award! That means that we won a HP notebook at the Standout party!

Thanks people for your continued support!

(:

Anonymous said...

Yo bro...try do it again in ISTANA.

Anonymous said...

HAVE SOME SHAME

meiyi said...

i cant blif that it happened in 1u???

Riko said...

I salute your sense of humour!
XDXD

rinaz said...

Congratulations!

emily @ shinyshampoo said...

LOL!!~

tak bole tahan...

taufulou said...

wah lan eh~ you guys seriously crazee to the max. no wonder the winner of the HP

PoisonKagero said...

This is seriously awesome!!! =) Wish I'd been there at your rampage!

caffe_latte said...

Wtf, why you people so awesome one!

juicer reviews said...

you guys are hysterical. Love it.

Anonymous said...

FUNNY YOU NOT, CIBAI YOU ARE

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