Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Dimitri The Stud - How not to leave a phone message

This is just so funny that I'm totally amazed that I didn't learn about it earlier!

The two videos are reenactments of two actual voicemails that a man who calls himself Dimitri left for some girl he met earlier. Apparently, he thinks he had excellent 'game', but trust me that his 'game' was just so good that the girl (whom Dimitri described) as 'elegant' never called back, but instead posted his voicemails up on the internets where he became an overnight internet sensation.


This is just so awesome that I am including the complete transcript of the conversation for good measure!

Message 1

Hey Olga, it's Dimitri.

Sorry I had to leave such a rushed message with you when we met the other day. I just wanted to quickly give you my phone number, and needed to get the heck out of the area. In any event, I thought I had better leave you a more detailed message and explain why I approached you. I am single. I have no trouble meeting women; I mean, women approach me six or seven times a day. But I'm extremely particular about what I like. You're an extremely elegant woman. I couldn't take my eyes off you, and your friends were very jealous — even if they say they weren't, they were envious of the fact that I approached you, and I was very taken by you. Elegant women are very rare. I'm Greek and I'm extremely particular about what I like. So I'm giving you an opportunity here. I don't know if you picked up the message on the weekend but I'm working on a movie script so I'll be doing that all weekend…

This looks like a land line, and if it is you may not get the message till Monday. But when you do, call me and we'll get together for coffee or drinks, and let the romance begin. You looked very taken aback by my approach, and I hope that wasn't timidness, I hope it was just shock at being approached so directly. Because I don't really date timid women, because I'm a very direct, very passionate, very assertive man, and I want a woman who is very independent and strong. So… we'll talk about that, but I just wanted to formally introduce myself. I leave the ball in your court. You call me as soon as you have the courage to. Okay, Olga? Talk to you soon, bye.

Message 2:

Hi there, Olga it's Dimitri calling again, the guy from the street.

I left you a message several days ago you said you were interested. Now, here's the way I work. I don't like leaving second messages but I like you, you're a very elegant woman, you're very attractive, but, you know, I don't play that game. I know your friends tell you not to return calls; you're playing games like you see in stupid TV shows. So here's how it's gonna work. It is now 4:30 on Wednesday. Now I'll assume, I'll assume that you've already left work, because, you know, some people leave work early, so I'll grant you that. But if I don't receive a phone call back from you by 3 o'clock Thursday afternoon I'm no longer interested and I'm going to erase your number. I don't play games like that. I'm completely single, I'm very intelligent, I'm great in bed, I make great money. Believe it or not, I'm a complete catch. I've only been single four months; I had a long distance relationship for about a year, it's very tough to maintain it like that; there's nothing wrong with me. As a matter of fact I'm one of the few men in the city that has nothing wrong with him. So I'm giving you the three o'clock deadline. If I don't hear from you by then, you lose my number — I'm erasing your number right now, so you won't be hearing back from me.

So that's it: three o'clock tomorrow, or you can just completely forget it.

Now I understand if you've got other issues, maybe you're not playing games, I don't know… maybe you were abused in childhood?…Maybe your mother has cancer, and you're going to chemo…maybe you're just a person who's extremely frightened or has an anxiety disorder, maybe you're on some medication for that…I don't know, there could be another issue that I'm not aware of. But nobody says "Call me," hands a person a business card and then doesn't return calls. It's extremely passive aggressive. You should actually look that up, passive-aggressive personality disorder. You let me know, if you've got issues, psychological issues, if you're on any sort of medication for anxiety or depression, I'm not interested. But if you're psychologically normal, and you haven't called me because there's been some horrible thing that's happened in your life that's prevented you from returning my calls, that's fine. But otherwise? Don't call me. Okay, bye.
I think I should start working on my phone game! It could give my blogs a much needed viewership boost if I can do it like Dimitri! HAHAHHA!


Real Man said...

Word is just hitting the street that these “douchey voicemails” are just a VIRAL MARKETING hoax for a Hollywood documentary about “Dimitri The Lover” by some of the Borat/Bruno people. You can tell the voicemails are viral marketing for a film because they drag on forever, he mentions the movie, he sounds like he's reading off a script, and you can hear him trying not to laugh at a couple of parts when he gets totally ridiculous. However, I knew all along and have been trying to tell people. Let me explain. Read this link (including all the comments below the article) …

I'm a member of the "Toronto Real Men", the world's only anti-metrosexual organization, run by "Dimitri The Lover", aka "The Prophet". In the same way that John Connor fights the machines for survival of humanity in “The Terminator”, The Prophet has dedicated his life to fight "Metrosexuality" for the survival of masculinity. He is a modern-day Rasputin ... a real-life Tyler Durden. Here is the web site for the "Toronto Real Men": TORONTO REAL MEN ... if you go to the section in the menu on the left titled "Meeting Announcements", then click on "August", you will understand everything he is trying to do. Also, if you click on the link on the left titled "Media Centre", there's both a radio interview and an appearance in a documentary so you can hear The Prophet speak.

Also, here is a copy of your latest meeting announcement, where he will teach men how to LEGALLY RAPE women with their minds: RAPE MEETING ANNOUNCEMENT

Also, everyone knows that women in Toronto are stuck up and play games. Here is how The Prophet deals with a single woman that likes him but still refuses to cough up her number ... he hands her this flyer: DIMITRI THE LOVER’S FLYER

Here is a link to some animations that have been banned by YouTube but give you a great indication of The Prophet's philosophy: DIMITRI THE LOVER’S BANNED ANIMATIONS ... the "Crucifixion of Dimitri" represents how he has suffered for all men.

Here is The Prophet's main web site: DIMITRI THE LOVER’S WEB SITE

We heard at the last meeting that his Hollywood film (the one that the producers of Borat and Bruno created) is completed and should be released in the next few months. Then the world will know the truth about what The Prophet is doing to rid the world of feminism once and for all.

Finally, here are some Dimitri The Lover clips from YouTube:



DIMITRI Metrosexuals I

DIMITRI Metrosexuals II

DIMITRI Feminism

DIMITRI Dream Woman


su said...

yeah it might boost your blogs but i doubt it will get you laid...

Kevin Chan said...

But if she does call back she'll call me and we'll get together for coffee or drinks, and we'll let the romance begin. LOL

And was that Dimitri that popped by earlier? OMG!


chris@dotagaki said...

Lol, smooth talker. Careful if you wanna use that tactic to boost ur blog views. You might lose ur virginity instead :P

SJ said...

thanks for sharing!

ps you're invited to comment on my post too =)

Kevin Chan said...

Wah, Dimitri so powerful ar?

Sure, anytime! :D

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