Friday, May 16, 2008

What Women Want #1: It's definitely not the 'nice guy'.


When I was back in secondary school, this was how I thought it worked.

Guy fancies girl, so guy should be a the nice guy that girls keep talking about - the guy who buys them big fluffy bears with all their pocket money; the guy that is absolutely loyal to her and looks at no other girls. Girl should fall in love with such a nice guy...... right? But unfortunately (for me at least), it didn't seem to be working this way, somehow.

When I came back to school to teach earlier this year, I saw that exact same thing happening ALL OVER AGAIN. It was like reliving a nightmare, all over again. I knew I had to do something about it.

So for today, class, we'll look at why being the 'nice guy' wouldn't be so nice for your love life.

Lets see what the stereotypical 'nice guy' does. He's too willing to part with his money for the girl that he fancies, gives in to all her wants and whims, and is willing to stop looking at all the other girls around just because there happens to be one girl who talks to him a teeny bit more than the others.

Now guys, I know that we have been all brought up and told that we have to be gentlemen, and we have to be nice to girls because that's what they want. But we forget a very important fact - most of the time, you're not supposed to believe what women tell you anyway.

Hamlet's Hero lesson #1: Women don't mean what they say most of the time.

Yes, for all you naive guys (and girls who like girls) out there, females are notorious for not giving away the truth easily. She says shes happy with the gifts you give her, but if what she says is not consistent with her body language and you just got to call her bluff. She says that shes happy with you going out with the guys on soccer night but we all know that shes going to sulk big time when we come back, right? Cause if you don't you need the above line hammered into your thick skull.

Yes, the thing is that although women keep going on and on about how they want guys to be 'nice' and all, spending all their money on gifts for them and being the absolute center of a man's life, they're not telling you the whole truth.

The truth is that all the girls you know probably forgot to tell you one thing when you asked them what they wanted in a man they liked - the sexual tension and attraction that sends them swooning. Yes, that's what they really want, but I like to think that girls intentionally left that bit out so that they get free dinner dates every now and then from a average Joe with zero knowledge about women. Who wouldn't want to be pampered ya? But that's just not the way to play the game.

Think about it, would any of the things that a typical 'nice guy' does magically make a woman desire you? Paying for a girl's dinner and buying her gifts wouldn't make her magically fall in love with you if that spark isn't there, and if you overdo it, quite the opposite happens - it makes the guy look like a desperate stalker. Don't you just have to agree with this, girls?

The thing that most guys fail to see is that if you manage to cause the girl in question to become attracted to you, you won't have to burn your pockets or cut out all your other options to get the girl you're after because she'll fall for you anyway, because you're one hell of an attractive person, not because you think you suck so much that you have to PAY for every single thing so that the POOR, POOR girl will spend an evening with you. And just think about it, that sorta behavior would just make the girl feel like social escort every time she goes out with you, a really badly paid one. And that's just not sexy behavior that's gonna cause a girl to become attracted to you (unless shes the one that never EVER got attention until you came along, but those usually aren't my type. If they're yours, stop reading and continue what you're doing cause you'll be staying well outta my way anyway).

You know whats worse than guys who start off on the wrong foot by trying to be the 'nice' guy? Guys thinking that they're being the most charming guy in the world by trying to be 'super' nice. Yes, I know it's a kiasu world we live in but it just doesn't work that way! Just think about it, if niceness was what causes people to become attracted to another person, Mother Teresa would like be one of the most attractive babes on the planet (but yeah guess she can be in spirit lah...)! It just doesn't work that way, get it?

So that's lesson number 2.

Hamlet's Hero lesson #2: Being 'nice' does not magically make girls swoon and fall in love with you.

Damn, if I only figured this out in secondary school I wouldn't have wasted so much time...... and so much opportunity. But guess it was a lesson well learnt.

Well, don't sue me for plagarism, but for a girl's point of view, this is how Le Raine from http://leraine.blogspot.com put it:

The nice guy usually ends up eagerly offering favours to the girl, putting off his own needs to ensure that the girl is happy. This includes squandering a mind-blowing amount of cash to swamp the girl with material things, offering to complete her 6-month project, skipping his dinner to fix her choked toiletbowl so that she can go out on her hot date, etc. Her wish is the guy's mission in life, and he will never learn to say no to her. The girl, of course, will be appreciative, but more often than not she doesn't automatically fall at the guy's feet in undisguised adoration (which, of course, is exactly what the guy is hoping for). There can be 3 outcomes, actually.

1) The girl notices that the nice guy is very sweet and starts noticing him. She shyly offers herself to him and they get married in a meadow with scattered flower petals everywhere and little birds and rabbits scampering about. They eventually have two perfect blond-haired, blue-eyed children, and they will adopt Bambi as a pet.

2) The girl notices that the nice guy is very sweet and labels him as 'reliable friend'. She will now not risk anything to lose this gem as someone who will go out his way to help her.

3) The girl notices that the nice guy is very sweet and starts to suspect that he likes her. When her suspicions are confirmed, she tries to let the nice guy down politely because she doesn't want to hurt such a nice guy. She makes up all sorts of excuses, including having a boyfriend, having not gotten over an ex-boyfriend, having feelings for someone else, needing to concentrate on her studies/career, being a lesbian, etc.

Well, life's not Disney World right, so the only two reasonable outcomes are outcome 2 &3 (you only get outcome 1 if you're Brad Pitt or something, and you wouldn't be reading this if you were). However it goes, the harder the guy tries to woo the girl by being a 'nice' guy, the more she either:

1. Doesn't want risk losing him as her reliable friend therefore dismissing all his 'nice' behavior as part of who he is - a 'nice' guy. Therefore, all his effort in wooing the girl is nullified as he gives her even more reason to keep him as just another nice guy she knows. Mission failed.

2. He ends up looking like a psycho stalker and she gets a restraining order on him. Not good either. Fail.

See, being a nice guy does not only NOT help make a girl attracted towards you, but overdoing it can cause pretty serious consequences! So I don't get it when guys keep doing this (or more likely, OVERDOING this!)!

So if being the 'nice' guy is not the right thing to do, what is? You just got to turn on the attraction, or end up with the dreaded "lets just be friends". You don't want to get there, trust me.

So if you want to find out more about What Women Want, stay tuned for the next installment of this series next Friday! I'm gonna keep writing about what women want for as long as I can and I really hope that you guys out there found this useful.

Till then, stop being the 'nice' guy, be the attractive guy.

Hamlet's Hero signing off.

Edit: Something just happened to me that's so amazing but it really makes me wonder if I really understand women. Guess they never stop amazing me. Thanks for restoring my faith in women, dear.

Edit again: WHOOPS! Junyi! :D

28 comments:

ern sheong said...

@@ i'm now very puzzled... =.= how to be the attractive guy?????? OI NOT NEXT FRIDAY LAH. PUBLISH TOMORROW!!

Kevin Chan said...

Haha, don't worry, I'm working on that post. And don't worry, I've got an answer. (: Just stay tuned. What Women Want, every Friday. :D

halobenzene said...

I disagree with the 'nice guy' part.

I'll elucidate on MSN. I'm a secret agent, remember?

"I'm Agent #1... and I'm Agent #2 - we're spies."

Aronil said...

lol, first of all believe what women tell u when it comes to what we want :P.... but u have a point with this "Women don't mean what they say most of the time." I admit to my bf saying that too me but for other reasons which i shall mention another day haha.

As for wanting Mr Nice. I love how u twisted it around. Although I do believe strongly that it's easier to get a girl when you ARE nice :P. That said though the whole nice thing works a lot more when you're a guy on the prowl and you are enjoying some girl time with the girl u are after with one of t=her girl friends. Nothing better than actually showing that you are mister nice to another one of the species. Hhahaha. instant acceptance

Sophia Aliza said...

HAHA so cute "HOW TO BE THE ATTRACTIVE GUY!?" lol.

Yes, yes a very good question indeed.

It's true, that nice guys get 'accepted' by girls yes. But girls don't get 'attracted' to them.

Ah, but love's a rollercoaster ride of mysteries anyway.
We'll learn something new everyday. :)

Chia Wei said...

Ah... come on.

Well... Being NICE doesn't mean you're not going to be charming, aren't ya?

Unless, of course, being an asshole is the only way you can get girls, then I pity you...

Just kidding dude...

Anyway, girls just basically don't like guys without balls and character. BE dominant, although sometimes you gotta give in a bit.

Look at King Leonidas and Tony Stark. People with a pair of HUGE dangling pendulums(metaphorically of course...)

ern sheong said...

another take on this. i think its nothing wrong to be a nice guy, just that the nice guy should not skip the friendship part and be so desperate to speed things up. I think kevin is saying that guys should build friendship up naturally but not accelerate it by spending lavishly, etc., since after all, friendship is not something which can be ACCELERATED. sounds hard, with guys' hormones raging and thus we get lots of nice guys running around with roses and booking dinner tables as well as movie tickets so that they can achieve instant gratification from their girl. i think we must all look beyond these things and see what is really behind all this "nice gestures". so kevin has a point. girls are smart enough to see that and thus we have Hamlet's Hero Lesson #2. "Being 'nice' does not magically make girls swoon and fall in love with you." Girls value friendship and loyalty more than anything. Nice guy gestures may make the picture complete and be the icing on the cake but that is only after the friendship requirement is met, which is the cake itself. No skipping the order.

friendship and compatibility ain't the only thing though. some girls do think very far into the future. commitment is another word one should think about. are you just playing around or are you going to make it last forever? things to think about.

and guys should not focus on looking for the "Ms Right" only, they should focus on being "Mr Right" as well. Girls don't fall in love with flowers or dinners or movies, they fall in love with the guy, and all that came with him, including his character and attitudes. So guys, are there aspects in yourself that you think can be improved? Improve it, because character and attitude speaks volumes instead of the superficial (yet important) "nice gestures."

OK i don't have experience on Hamlet's Hero #1 so I can't comment much on that. Maybe it's because girls haven't been telling me the truth either, and thus I am living in a fairy tale land now thinking that the girls are thinking what I am thinking that they are thinking. o.O

fish hunter said...

Hamlet's Hero lesson #1: Women don't mean what they say most of the time.

This is a real fact and they always gets away with it hehehe
and we boys are always the dumb ones to fall for it..

Your answers and your body language always gives clues to them to manipulate you hehehe
Whatever the girls says something to you, read in between the lines.
Your answers forms your character

Girl: Oh I look so ugly in that dress...!!!

your answers:
Oh yes.. you look like sh*t ... teeeeeaaaa wrong answer !!!!
oh, nevermind lah.. pick another one lah.. teeeaaaa wrong answer!!!!!

you see, what you are implying is that you are agreeing that she is ugly hahahaa

now put your dumb brain to work overtime... hahaha

Oh, really?..but I think the sleeves looks cool on you :), the color is nice on you..:) - good marks
a pretty girl can wear anything, it will look good but this dress I think it's abit too big for you... mmm very high marks !!

above: U are implying she is pretty, the problem is the dress and not her :) and too big means she is slim :) (of course the dress must be BIG lah !!) if the dress is too small.. NEVER comment on that..!!! pretend you didn't realise it.. :))

You see a girl always like boys to praise them, even they know that you are lying thru' your teeth.
but don't over do it...or it will make you a fake..

Dancing: body language - slow dance...
girl: come hold me...

Boy:
grabs her waist with two hands and moved in close and starts moving... - teeeaaaaa - wrong move...
smile - go for her hands gently, let her guide you where she want U to put your hands
* this is asking permission from her, may I? now move your hands like as if you want to hold her waist, feel the strength in her grip, if its loose.. it means yes.. if its firm.. keep holding her hands, try again later. hahahahaa

well, this are some of the glues of how to be a gentlemen...
It always works all the time provide there is some chemistry between you.. :)

cs said...

nice one! hope I read this few years back, haha

Kevin Chan said...

Thanks guys for all your comments!

Just to clarify, I'm not saying - go out there and be an asshole, but being a 'nice guy' isnt gonna make them attracted to you if they are not already.

Yeah, and fish hunter, you so totally got that right. Body language IS the way to get what girls really mean when they tell you things. :P Hope you guys liked the post!

fish hunter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
fish hunter said...

What boys should know about girls:

I will have to write a few books if I were to put it all in here hahahaa
but I will just elaborate one here...

Eyes:
Never underestimate those eyes, they are one of the powerful tools that we boys lack.
You see god created us different and for a reason of course but now its the 21st century and things have changed alot.
God gave boy's eyes for a purpose - hunting for food for survival
He gave us boys a pair of telescopic eyes, so that we can see far and aim sharp to kill animals for food.
That's why boys are always clumsy hahaha, knocking our heads and falling from tripping cause we can't see things clear that are near to us.
That's why we have to move our heads straight to stare at girls and they always catch us staring at them..it's because our eyes are telescopic.

Now, girls:
God have a wide-angle pair of eyes for the girls, yes. of course for a reason
Girls are child bearers and fruit gatherers, well that's what god gave them a long long time ago and she has to take care of the caves, so her eyes must be wide-angled so that she can see the whole surroundings for dangers and she needs a wide angle eyes to pick and select fruits or nuts easily..

Now, lets come back to the 21st century:
OK... in a party of boys and girls, now try to take notice next time, when you walk in, usually you can see boys staring at you but you seldom see girls staring at you. Actually the girls are looking at you but they girls don't have to turn their heads cos' their eyes are wide-angled, did you know that girl's eyes can clearly even at 45 degrees angle while we boys, we can see only 38 degrees angles only.
In this game, we boys are always the losers, you move your head, she knows your intention..she looks away before you know it..but still she can see you but you can't when you look away.. teeeaaa... we lose again..

Girl's eyes can see minute details and the full picture of things without moving their heads
Boy's eyes - we you see, you aim your eyes at specific spots and move your heads left right up down to get the whole picture. hahaha..
Teeeaaaa - we loose again....

so boys, listen carefully, hahahahaa
don't scratch your balls in a party, those girls are watching you...
don't did your nose for "gold", thinking that no one is looking at you... those girls are watching...
comprandee !! hahahaha be a gentlemen at all times, those powerful eyes are sprowling hehe

Well, that's for today hehehehee....
go try it out... ask your girl friends... test their eye's wide angle... hehehehe

fish hunter said...

What you should know about girls.

Brains:
Now you all already know about the eyes, today we will talk about the brain of a girl..

Again, God gave us different brain types hehe yes for a purpose of course..
Now lets go back way way back to the primitive age..

Boys:
a boy/man needs alot of concentration to prey on our hunt,
our brains have to be very focus, its a matter of life and death...
We have to stay in the bushes, eyes telescopic and focus and when the animals comes close enough - soommm.. we throw our spears, or shoot our arrows at our targets and we will go eye to eye contact with the animals and fight, concentration is crucial.. a slight distraction, it could mean death. You see our brains are built for this purpose...the full power of the brain is built around this hunting and fighting for survival.
Did you notice that we boys are very quiet compared to girls, you know why...? if you talk the animals will know where you are.. how to hunt?
You see it's part of our advantage when it comes to hunting..

Girls:
Girls as child bearers and fruit gatherers, they have alot of work to do. they have to take care of the kids, they have to pluck fruits, pluck nuts, takes care of the caves from danger, when the boys brings back the hunts, they have to chop them, cook them or preserved them, so God gave them a multi-tasking brain - a brain that can handle many things at a time.. yes for their survival.
do you know why girls are made so sensitive, they have sensitive hands, sensitive mouth, sensitive nose & sensitive ears.
Yes, they are all for this purpose above,
sensitive fingers - so they can feel if the fruit or nut is ripe.
Sensitive mouth - so that they can taste the fruits/nuts if its sweet sour or bitter
Sensitive nose - smell urine, smell shit, smell animals - you know la have to take care of the kids and the caves from danger ma
Sensitive ears - can hear baby crying from far or noisy areas, can hear danger in the surroundings like animals preying around the caves.

NOw, let's come back to the 21st century:
Look around you... when you see a group of girls, try walk close to them and try to listen to their conversation. You wouldn't know what the hell they are talking about.. and its so noisy, you wonder is anyone listening and everyone of them is talking..and let's say you joined in the conversation, you try to speak, but then they are not looking at you and they are all chating...U wonder if anyone actually listen..
I tell you.. yes..they are actually listening to you...because their brain is a multi-tasking brain..
girls can talk and listen at the same time.!!!
but boys cannot
that's why when we boys are together.. we like to say this word: - "quiet please!!!" John want speak..
or you always makes sure that your friend is not talking then only you speak., then when he speaks, you keep quiet and listen.
Girls DON'T have to... they can talk about 10 topics at one time and only another girl can decipher, sorry boys, your brains are not up to it.
our boy brain is for concentration purpose and very specific. When boys speaks, we are very specific in our subject because our brain can't handle much that's why we always think that girls always avoids us and not specific because they can handle 10 to 20 topics at the same time... incredible itsn't it ... hehehe

so, beware, never curse or say bad things in a crowd of noisy girls, thinking that they won't be listening to you...
They ARE !! its you boys who think that its impossible to listen when its so noisy. Now that's the power of a girl's brain.
They are better then you boys in this game when it comes to speech.. am I right?
So if you can't beat them... join them hehehe.. be aware that girls are listening to you even if you think they don't seem to....
OK... girls have multitasking brains, boys have brains for concentration purpose :))

chaiminhuei said...

Is it me or both #1 and #2 have subtle connections with the issue of money?

Anyway, I so do not agree with everything.

For one, how do you explain situations where 2 completely UNATTRACTIVE and NICE individuals fall in love, have healthy conflicts and live happily ever after?

"Love someone who loves you for who you are and not what you are."

NealT said...

LOOL Absolutely fantabulous. XD Witty really. Can't wait for next edition hurrraayy...

Kevin Chan said...

I don't believe in the whole 'just be yourself thing'. We're never the same person anyway, we change all the time. Refusing to take action on improving yourself and evolving into a better person is only tantamount to pure, distilled laziness, I tell you.

For more detailed arguments on why 'just be yourself' is plain bad advice, go here:

Here


Anyway... about unattractive girls ya, I'm not trying to be mean, but unattractive girls don't have much of a choice when it comes to mate selection, and so they can't really tarik harga like the more attractive girls then.

To land an attractive girl's respect you gotta work harder than that. (: And attractive girls aren't necessarily not nice, you just gotta work hard to first win over their respect.

Check this out too:

Click here

Its about the plight of the beautiful woman. Cheers people!

chaiminhuei said...

1. Everyone in the world is an actor, able to change into different roles and personalities at will. Then how can we determine the actor's true identity? Is there such thing to start with? What does it mean to be yourself? Does it mean not doing anything? Or does it mean trying harder to be something who you can only perceive to be?

Yet, when we search deeper within, we find something that is less static. Wholesome traits that make up the person, possibly through the person's genetic composition. These traits are not unchangeable, but they reflect what the actors natural capabilities are. We should all embrace this part of ourselves. Yet, we will still strive to become better versions of our current personalities.

This is what it means to be yourself. This is what it means to be true.



2. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is a matter of an acquired taste. However, the mass media has injected their own perception of beauty into us, which, in almost all cases, are unattainable for the everyday women. If men choose to desire for this form of stereotypical beauty, they are just demonstrating that they are the products of subtle brainwashing and are willing to be mindless slaves to the airbrushing industry. If women choose to 'misuse' their stereotypical beauty as a bargaining tool, they see their bodies as nothing but cheap tradable goods.

Who will have the last laugh?



3. 400 Bad Request - Illegal filename.

Kevin Chan said...

Min Huei,

On your first point, I still believe that whole 'being yourself' things is just not very useful. What is important is not one's genetic traits or inherited dispositions, but the values that one chooses to uphold in his/her life.

And one should always seek to grow in accordance with his/her values and to also rethink and reconsider his/her values when necessary.

We should always try to improve for the better and I don't believe this whole concept of being 'true' to something is useful to begin with. If it is, please explain why, because I still see it as perfectly viable to grow as a human being without any particular adherence to any 'true' ideal of myself.

On your second point, that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, I beg to differ. While I do agree that the mainstream media does play a role in influencing the latest trends, fashions and the current conception of sexual perfection, the fact still remains that some women who possess certain physical traits are still considered to be more physically (and sexually) attractive in general to us males.

It's part of our inbuilt machinery to seek out and find mates capable of producing healthy children with us as many of the traits of highly attractive women (ie firm chests, toned legs, seductive and curvy hips...) are in fact markers of a woman's reproductive health. Would compliance to our inbuilt mate selection criteria make you a mindless slave of the media? I definitely don't see how that is so.

And for the last subpoint on how women 'misuse' their bodies as a bargaining tool, I would like to bring to your attention that using a person's sexuality as a bargaining tool is not mutually exclusive with being a healthy, normal person capable of forming well balanced relationships.

Women all around the globe do it all the time anyway, and us guys do it too when we dress up attractively. Some level of sexual objectification is definitely necessary, for if you don't even come across as a sexually receptive individual, and you can't communicate that to prospective mating partners, the whole mating game falls down. Continuing the human species would then be a problem.

Overdoing it would be a totally different problem all together.

Kevin Chan said...

I know I have been an irresponsible blogger for not taking the time to reply to each and every one of my comments but from now on, I'll try, kay? Keep commenting!

Fish Hunter: I'll keep your views in mind in case I decide to write about the differences between men and women in the future! (:

Ern Sheong: yeah, its important to be a nice guy, but coming on too strong at the beginning just kills attraction. The next What Women Want episode will be about that.

Chiawei: you got that absolutely correct. It's about confidence and strength of character. And won't you agree that a overly needy 'nice guy' who showers a girl with gifts when he barely knows her to be sorely lacking in the abovementioned qualities?

Sophiee: yeah you got that right girl! Attraction's the key!

Aronil: Even if a guy gets accepted into the girl's clique, its pointless if she isn't attracted to him ya? That's why I put so much emphasis on attraction first, then niceness and warm personality have a chance to shine later la. (:

Halobenzene: hope to hear the full story from you sometime!

Chia Wei said...

Well, the 'just be yourself' thing is really subjective so I don't think we should discuss that.

Anyway, in regards to minhuei's 2nd point, I think that each and everyone of us have their own definitions of 'pretty' and 'beautiful'. We are only subtly but slightly influenced by the media on what is beautiful. By nature, we still do prefer mates that are fit and healthy and also aesthetically pleasing. This is because we want our offspring to be healthy and fit too - which means better survivability.
So, we can never say we don't want a better person at first sight, right? Of course, there's also the issue of human character, whether the person is suited for us, or not. And also ethical issues like having 4 girlfriends at the same time...

Back to topic, I really think that it doesn't matter whether you're a nice guy or not. It's just whether you know how to communicate with girls.

Perhaps 'nice guys' are just stereotyped as guys who don't know how to approach girls or guys that appear too desperate...

Maybe Kevin will explain in his future episodes...

Kevin Chan said...

Chiawei,

But you still gotta admit that the 'nice' guys that we all thought that we should be when we were both slightly younger really reeked of insecurity and desperation somehow.

Needed to put it across that way to get my message across clearly to my students lah.

But guys out there! Remember I'm not asking you guys to be complete jerks, but just tone down on the overbearing niceness. Will continue this discussion in the future episodes!

Thanks so much for your comments guys! Guess we'll always get to learn from ongoing debate.

chaiminhuei said...

I agree with some of the points you gave for my #2. I just want to state that I meant that people are starting to form naturally occurring body aesthetics preferences based on almost impossible measures.

What I meant as a person's 'true self' is the traits that are clearly perceived by others when you have no conscious effort to 'try' to be something. There are people who are labeled helpful, cheerful, analytical without themselves being aware that they have these traits. These traits are not 'permanent ideals', they are just the determining 'home ground' where you feel comfortable in. And yes, if people choose to, they can consciously transform these innate values over long periods of time. It's all a matter of choice.

kz said...

hey peeps! you guys are debating here? feeling lazy to read, too many words, but wow, fish hunter's words are soooo interesting! i think he'll make a good guy and whichever girl thats gonna be/currently is with him will surely be very happy all the time! Cuz...erm.. he's so different from the rest? lol =)

Kevin Chan said...

Well Min,

If my true self were that of a real jerk, I would still strive to change that la, and it is something that can evolve over time. That's why I find the concept of a 'true' self lacking in usefulness anyway. (:

And kz,

you got that right! Fish hunter is definitely different from the rest!

fish hunter said...

Quote:
Hey peeps! you guys are debating here? feeling lazy to read, too many words, but wow, fish hunter's words are soooo interesting! i think he'll make a good guy and whichever girl thats gonna be/currently is with him will surely be very happy all the time! Cuz...erm.. he's so different from the rest? lol =)
Unquote:

Ooh how I wish I was young again and have all this knowledge. hahahahaa
Anyway, thanks for the compliment...
I suggest you guys go and read this book:
"Men don't Listen and Women can't read maps"
You will know everything you want to know about the other sex and you will love them for what they are. All my ideas above are from this book.
Written by a loving couple who understands everything about each other.

Try this: Ask a women for direction,
May I know where is Petronas Twin Tower?

you get this:
Ok, go straight, first traffic light, turn left.. no no turn right..go straight 500 meters, you see KFC, dont' turn yet, keep going...then you see MBB building, you know the one beside there got sell flowers one lah... ok keep going, 50 meters, got small bridge, dont take that one.. take the big bridge.. colorful one.. turn left is the parking lot, turn right you can go to the lobby...

Result: more confuse then ever.

Now ask a man:
May I know where is Petronas Twin Tower?
You know where Maxi's tower? - beside lah..

Result: Oh.. thnks :)

Women cannot imagine that we men have a sense of direction... hahahahaa

Men can sense the north even with eyes closed..
Women even with their eyes open, they don't know where is the north but they can see every details of the surroundings... remember? their wide angled eyes & multi-tasking brain?...men - telescopic eyes & focused brain?

Knowing each other's weakness only make us love them more... sounds familliar? hehehe
good day :)

Es said...

expanding on FishHunter's comment, read "Why Men Don't Have A Clue, and Women Always Need More Shoes" by Allan and Barbara Pease. contains (almost) everything you need to know about the opposite sex! and very funny too.

ALSO, you're generalising females by lumping them all into a few categories when really, the female mind and our attitudes are so diverse and RESPONSIVE.

it doesn't mean that every girl who receives the same stimuli will react in the same way. if Mr-Nice-Guy-whom-i-am-not-attracted-to has the personality we want, WHY NOT? we can be bribed.

women are not all alike! we're as diverse and our attitudes are as wide-ranging as Manolo Blahnik heels! :D

i'm not saying you're entirely wrong, but you're definitely not entirely right! seriously, the reason we don't fall in love with nice guys is not because they're "NICE", it's the chemistry! fate! destiny! this has nothing whatsoever to do with their being nice or offering to pay for meals etc

of course, since we're still living in society where chivalry is smiled upon, it would be nice for the guy to pay, bring us gifts, open doors, allow us to watch E! New with Ryan Seacrest without complaining, etc. which girl wouldn't want that?

OHO, quote "You're not supposed to believe what women tell you anyway" unquote HA HA HA! YEAH! go get advice from OTHER (equally as lost) MEN about WHAT WOMEN WANT. don't listen to us talk about what we want, don't believe it, go talk to other men about it! i'm suuure it'll solve your problem. ;)

when we say things we don't mean, it's because 1. we don't want to hurt you 2. we have to keep the status quo in the relationship. if we expound on everything you do that we do not like, it's going to go downhill. fast. of course sexual tension and attraction play a role! but it's not THE only/biggest/most important we want!

i personally say that if a nice guy buys our dinner, takes us to nice places, and of course, has an nice attitude, etc girls WILL fall for him! i have to say, sometimes, if you try to _make_ us fall for you (for lack of a better word), it works!

OF COURSE being nice does not magically make girls fall for you! (D'OH) neither does being the Not-So-Nice guy! or being the Bad Boy. youhave to work for it. unless the attraction is already there, then that's a whole other story. this topic could go on forever. we could talk about chauvinism, oppression of women, patriachal values, etc etc etc!

i've got too many things to say, dangit! i'm going to rest my brains and watch David Cook now. CAN"T WAIT FOR THE NEXT INSTALLATION! ;-D

just my 2 cents (or maybe more.) i'm not picking on the flaws in your argument on purpose, merely stating my own opinion and what i belive in. also here, not saying your opinions are wrong, but are probably very generalised and pigeon-holed views of the female mind.

but OH,yes. don't listen to me because we don't mean what we say most of the time anyway. go talk to other guys. :)

have a luurrrvely day!

Best,
Eswhy

Es said...

ps all that said in the spirit of good-natured fun.

The Beautiful Kind said...

The reason why women don't go for nice guys is because a lot of the time nice = BORING!

Be INTERESTING. The best combo is a nice guy who can get his freak on!