Monday, June 02, 2008

Project Trafford: Unveiled!

Project Trafford? What's that all about?

It all began one day, when I was in a really bitchy mood.

Bitchy. Yes, this is how I look when Shaun tries to argue with me.

Yes, I was REALLY bitchy and tired.

And when I was checking my Nuffnang analytics for the 215,542,124th time of the day, I saw this on the Nuffnang blog:

Nuffnang is currently launching a Top Secret Project codenamed ‘Project Trafford’. We are looking for 40 bloggers who are willing to participate actively in this secret project.


Here are some details that you need to observe if you intend to be one of them;

  • Participating bloggers must be available and able to communicate actively via emails starting from the end of May 2008 till end of June 2008.
  • Participating bloggers must be able to work together in team and respond promptly to their team leaders.
  • Participating bloggers will be paid/rewarded handsomely.

If you think you satisfy the above criteria, please do write in to with your details such as name and contact number. Only shortlisted candidates will be notified.

Applications for Project Traffod has been closed. For those shortlisted, kindly reply before 2pm on Thursday 29/5/08 as a test on how promptly will you be able to communicate via email.

Well, I was feeling uber bitchy and just needed to rant, so I typed out this really angsty email. The only edit I made was that I removed my handphone number!
Subject: I'm the one you're looking for. Period.
Dear Nuffnang team,

This is why I should be part of your Project Trafford team:

  • Participating bloggers must be available and able to communicate actively via emails starting from the end of May 2008 till end of June 2008.
I'm 19, done with my A levels last December and have nothing better to do than bumming around at home, spending my parents money and check my blog like 200 times a day for comments. Yes, I have THAT much time on my hands.
  • Participating bloggers must be able to work together in team and respond promptly to their team leaders.
What do I do with all that free time that I have when my friends around me (who are already IN uni because they didn't do their A levels in Singapore like smartass me) are studying hard in school? Bum around online and check my gmail for interesting spam to read at a frequency of 75 times an hour. Yes, press F5 a lot these days and lay in wait on MSN for possible victims to prey on.
  • Participating bloggers will be paid/rewarded handsomely.
Yes, an unemployed boy like me who's living off his parents like a leech needs the cash, really, really badly. So who else better to pay than me? A rich, bratty blogger who has the money to fly anywhere in the world and camwhore in front of historical places of great interest, or this boy with no money to travel and spends his days burying himself in photoshop work affixing Dr. M's head on Leonidas's body cause he's too poor to travel anywhere. You decide (and let your conscience haunt you if you choose wrongly).

And besides, I have a great blog, and actually put great care into what I write. Doesn't that already put me head and shoulders above 99 percent of what you see posted on innit? I'm not exaggerating or anything, just read the damn blog.

So choose me. Period.

Wishing whoever that reads this crappy email lots of love (but maybe slightly less if I don't get shortlisted),

Hamlet's Hero of


Kevin Chan

who can be contacted at 01x-xxxxxxx

and who is also a Glitterati member (see, I make myself sound like an absolute homosexual for you people, I better get shortlisted)
Yup, and I sent that to the Nuffnang team. It was highly cathartic and it made me a happy, happy boy. And even though I think (wait, I know) that my blog is awesome, I didn't expect getting selected for Project Trafford.

But I guess Nuffnang decided that they needed someone bitchy on every team, just to spice things up. (:

So here I am, writing for Project Trafford, but I can't tell you everything yet cause Project Trafford is just so TOP SECRET! The people up there in Nuffnang will reset my Nuffnang earnings to where it was 5 months ago if I say too much, too soon! Shhh!

This was 5 months back...

But I'll tell you what I can.

Project Trafford is Nuffnang's Top Secret campaign for Mister Potato (gasp)! And what we really have to do is to promote Mister Potato's contest which is giving out a free trip to Old Trafford, home of the Red Devils!

Yes, I'm made to promote potato chips.

So, what our team has to do is to come up with some plan or another to promote this contest (which is a no brainer hoard the proof of purchase game) to as many people as possible.


And now introducing the team that I'll be working with:

Sultan Muzaffar
who's not really royalty from

I think that's him on the phone. What he's looking at, I don't know...

Kar Yeong, aka KY (jelly) from

KY's the one on the right.

But he insists on a more 'leng chai' picture. When the leader tells you to do something, you don't have a choice right? What to do?

The more 'leng chai' pic.

They are our two team leaders, as wacky as they look.

And we have my fellow team members:

Debra, who dates and dines all day long at;

And she just had to be eating in this pic...

Satkuru, from (duh!);

Yup, enjoying the chilly highland air.

Foong, who speaks her mind (can't be someone else's mind right?) at;

She says she doesn't want to scare us with a pic.

YapThomas, the Ultimat3 from

Now I found another friend who likes fedoras. (:

Well, that's my Project Trafford team (as poser-ish as we all are), and stay tuned for more updates on Project Trafford! The links of my teammates are all on my sidebar so feel free to view their blogs!

Till I'm back with more Project Trafford updates and saucy details,

Hamlet's Hero signing off.


tysern said...

haha, eh good luck in your project trafford, i see that all your team members are really supportive lar, anyway, all the best.

wen said...

oO a free trip to old trafford! hehe flying on airasia? or is that classified info? =)

looking forward to more info

yu ming said...

lol...haha....yeah.....wish u luck in your project trafford.....

Clarissa said...

haha i read it as "my teammates are all on my sidebar". lol. i somehow cant believe that your bitchyness got you selected :P

emtonmi said...

I bet that "handsome" reward is a two year supply of Mister Potato! Muahaha.


BellamyGirl89 said...

haha! ya kev, i was totally gonna say that that's what the reward is gonna be :p lifetime supply of chips-oh mann

but OLD TRAFFORD!! GEEZ. mun hon would sure like to go there. so would i lah- just to have a look-see (but of course,keep the blue flag flying high)


Chang B. Nicholas said...

I bid thee the best of wishes in your endeavor to online greatness.

NealT said...

LOL. Lovely letter haha. I like the statement

"I make myself sound like an absolute homosexual for you people, I better get shortlisted"

You sure you made yourself sound? Or.....?

Nvm. LOL. Anyway. haha. umm. :) Lovely post made me laugh. Aaaand. good luck :D in your top secret X files watchamacallit thing thang.


ChongX said...

SEXS AR! i mean sets la!=) hee when u get to OT, give sir alex a slap fro selling Ruud Van Nistelrooy okay=) haha!!

Sheen said...

how interesting

Jo. said...

Lol. Like everyone else has said, good luck on this oh-so-secret project of yours.

Make sure to keep us updated kay, on the not-so 'secret' stuff laa.

Anonymous said...

haha. u do a lot of weird things that i never ever even thought i would do in my life. all the best. by the way, at first i thought it had something to do with football( you know manchester united old trafford)

Anonymous said...

goodness. you actually sent THAT?! hahaha. the ppl doing the selection muz be real cool. x)

Nayan said...

lol...nice letter man...sure brings out ur bitchiness which was waiting to come out since the past 2yrs....though i always knew about ur homosexual behaviour...Glitterati! lol

Horza said...

It looks like you have been real busy post-As. Well, hopefully you'll win, though I do think selling potato chips is ah, unorthodox

Carol said...

Now that i have seen your amazing talent at letter applications, it def justifies your scholarship! =)

ern sheong said...

haha ur second picture loading too long la... but have fun with the project!

KY said...

oi i play badminton with james bond also you can find out! teruk! :p

debra fong said...

Good post:D
I laughed my butt reading this post.

stef said...

omigosh~ -.-"
u so do not look like the kind to write that sorta email~ lol~
how funny, kevin can be so bitchy~ XD

Cat-chan said...

Hey, that sounds like fun. Good luck for that! Enjoy yourself before uni starts and you get buried under a pile of assignments, yeah~!

Lynn.T said...

good bitchiness... craving for mister potato now...

Satkuru said...

wahahaha lolololol, great write up XD

carmen said...

lmao, :DDD nice or should i say awesome post? lmao. xD

Anonymous said...

LOL cool! Now we'll have to apply James Bond-esque torture methods to get you to divulge the secret of Project Trafford!

The fabulous HEIDY QUAH who speaks senseless stuff (: said...

Hello :)
AWESOME post, I say.
All the best and good luck on your project yeahh! It sounds interesting :"D
Keep us updated on how it goes! :)


Kevin Chan said...



I'm doing my best to make this Project Trafford thing a success! And it has something to do with a certain raid on a certain hypermarket real soon!

Stay tuned!

Pui Yean said...

Hahahaha love the e-mail ! It's so bitchy demanding etc and yet it's not overly so that it makes the reader think you're a complete ass :p

PS , what's a Glitterati -_-"

Suh Ming said...

yea, so damn bitchy right? and omg this project sounds so damn cool! can't wait for updates! ;)

Kevin Chan said...


A glitterati member is a nuffnang member who exclusively uses Nuffnang ads in his/her blog and not the other Asian blog ad services. (:

Updates will come soon!

Yu Kane said...

Don't worry, i'll only take 36% of your earnings from this project

jadel_ling said...

hi, just drop by ... i like ur previous posts about your form 1 classes...
u_r_very_very_free. . . . *drips sarcasm* . . . *envy envy envy*
btw i know another a coincidence..
neways best of luck ~

Anonymous said...

Aww yeahh . Nice onee (:
All the best! :D

Raphael Foo said...

haha hello! woah cool project i am so excited! so you get a handsome reward? cant be me right, though you're homo HAHA.

Kevin Chan said...


Thanks for dropping by! Its been so long since I heard frm you lah! Hope everything's great in Melbourne!


EVEN if I was homo (which you can so tell im not), yr NOT a handsome reward. (:

quin said...

eeeee you got selected!! all the best for it!! hehe

Zhi Xian said...

Woah.. all this project thing looks real cool.. maybe u will be like kennysia.. hahaha.. Well.. At least u are the one whose blog resembles the way he blogs - all the funny crap.. >.<
Okok.. be sure to keep me posted with ur project dude.. :)
Lucks and cheerios..

Andrew Ong said...

I would wish you luck, but both of us know that you don't need it ;)

Aronil said...

Ohhhhooooooo.... enemy camp enemy camp hahahhaha.... we shall see who gets the win man :P lalalala

Aronil said...

hAHAHAHAH so farney when you are angry :P

Kevin Chan said...

Hahah enemy camp!

We'll see lah! It just gets funnier!

Mr Potato attackkk!

Jaz said...

twino...haha YAY ya professional now..all the best n i soooo love ya blog:)